African Muzungu

We were playing together. I would hide, she would find me, I would tickle her. I loved every minute of it, and her grin and giggle told me she did too. Then, as she ran around the corner, it happened. She ran her forehead straight into the corner of the metal window frame. I heard the thump and came around the corner to see her small hand clutching her forehead and her eyes filled with pain. But she didn’t shed even a single tear. Usually when a Ugandan child is hurt, they are immediately told not to cry, distracted from the pain, and sent away to continue playing. I can’t do that. I’m thankful for a mother who tenderly comforted me when I was in pain, and believe that is exactly what God would have me to do for these kids too. So I ran to her, knelt down and pulled her into my arms. Silently, she buried her face in my neck as her father watched on. With hand pressed against her swelling head, and face pressed against my shoulder, she quietly waited for the pain to reduce. If ice ...

It’s only 7 more days until I’m on a plane back to Uganda. After 9 months, it hardly seems possible. People keep asking me if I’m ready. My answer? Not yet. But that’s what the next 7 days is for, right? ;) I knew these last weeks would fly by fast, as they always do. And as always, I’m left scrambling till the end! But I think I should be packed more than I am. I’ve only been doing it for 9 months!   I can’t remember ever being so nervous-excited to go back. There is so much I’m happily anticipating and thrilled about, but as you might imagine, there’s also a good bit of nerves. I know there are awkward, painful reminders waiting for me when I get there. I’ve seen some of the hard, the painful, the scary of being on the front lines of ministry, and I know things don’t necessarily just get easier from here. But I have walked with Jesus through suffering, and I know I just have to look beside me to find Him there again. I’ve never had to do that so constantly ever before in my ...

People say I’m brave for living in Africa. I don’t feel brave. In fact, a lot of times I’m downright scared. Before moving to Uganda, I had several major fears that I recognized and had to purposefully surrender to Jesus. The list wasn’t very long, but included on that list were an assault and being rejected by people I so loved. It was a bit of a shock to realize that 2 of my major fears came true within months of each other. I’m not going to lie and say that I realize now that I had no reason to fear those things. Let me tell you, actually experiencing them was just as painful as I had feared. The loss, grief, depression, anger, and deep aching pain were all very real. No, I don’t believe God tells us time and time again “Don’t be afraid” because there is nothing to fear. On the contrary, there is so much to rightfully fear that comes from living in a broken world and surrounds us every moment. Loved ones agonize through cancer. Jobs are lost. People lie and stab us in the back....

Last time, I wrote briefly about my unexpected trip back to the States, and after having some time to think, pray, and heal, I thought I would share a bit more about what the Lord has been doing the past 2 months. While in Uganda, I suffered through several situations including the betrayal of friends and also an assault. While I have made some great steps toward healing, I do not believe that it would be beneficial to re-tell or re-live the details of what happened, here or elsewhere. Before going, I had considered the possibility of being assaulted, but never actually thought it would happen to me. And although I would never choose for something like this to happen to me or anyone else, I have had the amazing opportunity to see the power of Jesus’ healing hand at work. So many times we pray for healing. Many times that is for physical healing, and if we don’t get better we often accept it with the thought that ‘God knows best.’ If we are healed physically, we praise and ...

I know this will come as a surprise to all of you, but I actually just arrived back in Colorado Springs with my family! I know this is unexpected and I would love to be able to articulate all of the reasons for this, but for the sake of the other people involved I just can’t say everything right now. But here’s what I can fill you in on: In the past couple of months, there have been several very traumatic situations that I have gone through. The betrayal of several people close to me has been incredibly painful, and while I have chosen to forgive each one of them, the wounds have gone deep. I know that the only one who can heal me from the pain of those betrayals is Jesus. So for now, I’m back in Colorado seeking healing and rest from Jesus so that I can go back to Uganda filled up and ready to pour out all of the grace I’m receiving from His hands back into the precious people of Kamonkoli. I know and believe that when I do get back to Kamonkoli, I’ll be that much more re...