The Drawing In

Bright eyes, shouting voices, and eager arms welcome me each day I go to the school. Peace and Edith are the most demonstrative with their affection. They know me well since they are 2 of the orphans living at Katherine’s place, and I get to see them all the time. They have lost all trace of pretense and eagerly, boldly demand for my love and attention. They of course receive it in abundance! 

But there are also those that stand back. They come to watch me, and look on as those bolder ones clamor for my attention. But I see their eyes. I know that look of longing. I know how much they too desire to be hugged, cuddled, tickled, told stories, and asked silly questions. Daphine is one of them. Her eyes captured me today with their longing, and I knew I had to draw this one in. Escaping the other small arms pulling and tugging at every appendage, I drew her aside, bent down and engaged her with questions.

What is your name? 

         My name is Daphine.

How many years do you have?

         I have 9 years.

What class are you in?

         P1.

They’re simple questions, but as I show interest in her, slowly her chin lifts. She’s willing to make eye contact with me, and her voice grows strong.  Soon, she’s coming willingly when I call her over for a hug. When I poke her tummy and tease her during lunch, she smiles and giggles. It really is amazing how quickly these children respond to love. 

I see myself so much in these children. There are days when I’m just like Daphine with Jesus. Timid, and fearing to come to Him in prayer. Because sometimes I’m scared: afraid that He won’t want me, that I’m not good enough to capture His attention. That my constant sin has made me less desirable than those other giants of the faith, and I fear His disapproval. 

But my Jesus never fails to draw me in. Daily, He pulls me aside to reassure me of His compassion and acceptance. Though I see that my heart clothes are dirty, and my hair is unwashed, still He brings me close. He pays no mind to the filth under my finger nails, but tenderly grasps my hand. He offers what my heart cries day and night for: unconditional, never failing love. And I get daily to see the truth that John proclaims: ‘We love Him, because He first loved us.’ 1Jn 4:19

 It is because of this love that I can ‘come boldly before the throne of grace with confidence.’ Heb 4:16 Without timidity or fear, for His perfect love has ‘cast out all fear.’ 1Jn 4:18

So being confident in my Lord’s affection, I can rush eagerly into His arms each day. Like Peace and Edith, I can cling joyously to Him, being certain that He wants to hold me too.