To Be Really Satisfied

Photo credit: Gap Adventures

They are the shopkeepers, the hawkers of wares, the sellers of everything imaginable. They call out, shout, demand for attention, thrusting their goods in my face. Demanding that I purchase. But it is money spent for that which is not bread. It is a purchase of that which cannot satisfy. 

Photo credit: Atlas

But deny them once, and they will pursue every louder. They are desperate for even just a piece of me. I must flee. I must get away. Back to the One who offers wine and bread without cost. I must drink deeply of His waters. I must incline my ear to His voice, running into His presence so that I might live. For He offers what they can only fake. Steadfast love. Change. Purpose. Joy. True peace. He is the only source of life. He is calling: “Come, be filled again.”

In the midst of the craziness that is travel and fundraising, Jesus brought me to Isaiah 55:1-3. This precious passage immediately summoned images of the Ugandan markets to mind, but even more, my everyday here too. Throughout each and every day so many people need something from me.  Emails, documents, budgets, time, encouragement, phone calls, texts, and more. They call out for their needs to be met. And I am tempted to just give in. With the subconscious belief that with this one phone call, I will purchase goodwill. With this one email, I will buy affection. With this one document, I will gain admiration. 

But Jesus says it is in vain. If I am looking to them to fill me up, I will only be drained of every resource I have, to buy what will never satisfy. But the beautiful thing is that when I actually stop to listen to the call of Jesus to come away and be filled up again, He does it! He pours His life back into me, refreshing and renewing me so that I in turn can go back out. This time, not to buy what everyone is pushing, but to instead offer back the sustenance that Jesus gives so freely.  It's amazing how so very much comes back to heart attitude and focus. 

It’s a daily struggle though. I’ve travelled to Baltimore, Denver, St Louis, Chicago, and will soon leave for Dallas and Austin. My road-legs are shaky, and there is so much more to be done. The struggle to keep my eyes and heart fixed on what is really important can be overwhelming….until I step back into Jesus’ presence. There He meets me and re-adjusts my heart attitudes, focusing my attention back on Himself. 

I have 2 more months before I’m back in Uganda again, and I’m so eager to be home. But I know there won’t be too much different from here. It will be the same inner battles (but more with the extra spiritual warfare!), the same struggles and efforts to rely not on myself but on Jesus. So will you please pray for me? Pray that I can continue to develop the patterns and habits that I so desperately need for godly, healthy living in Uganda. Most of which include running back to Jesus, in each moment seeking His heart and desires for me. J

Isaiah 55:1-3

Come, all you who are thirsty,

    come to the waters;

and you who have no money,

    come, buy and eat!

Come, buy wine and milk

    without money and without cost.

Why spend money on what is not bread,

    and your labor on what does not satisfy?

Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good,

    and you will delight in the richest of fare.

Give ear and come to me;

    listen, that you may live.