Last time, I wrote briefly about my unexpected trip back to the States, and after having some time to think, pray, and heal, I thought I would share a bit more about what the Lord has been doing the past 2 months.
While in Uganda, I suffered through several situations including the betrayal of friends and also an assault. While I have made some great steps toward healing, I do not believe that it would be beneficial to re-tell or re-live the details of what happened, here or elsewhere. Before going, I had considered the possibility of being assaulted, but never actually thought it would happen to me. And although I would never choose for something like this to happen to me or anyone else, I have had the amazing opportunity to see the power of Jesus’ healing hand at work.
So many times we pray for healing. Many times that is for physical healing, and if we don’t get better we often accept it with the thought that ‘God knows best.’ If we are healed physically, we praise and thank Him and often proclaim it joyfully to all our friends. With emotional pain, we are far more likely to trust time than to trust God. We hear and say things like, “Time is a great healer. One day you’ll be able to look back and laugh. Or, with time it won’t hurt so bad.” While all of those might be true, they miss the ultimate truth; Jesus is the only true healer. Yes, because of the way He created the world, the passing of time is instrumental in our healing process, but it is not a guarantee of healing for sure. Neither is Jesus limited by time in working His healing. In my 3 weeks at a retreat center for missionaries, I experienced more healing than in the 6 months previous combined!
Obviously healing is about much more than the passing of time. It really is amazing to see Jesus act so quickly when He chooses! And oftentimes, that happens when we finally stop and allow ourselves to feel and acknowledge the pain. When we stop trying to shove it to the back of our minds and stuff it deep into the recesses of our hearts, there is greater opportunity for healing.But are we really ready to get real and examine ourselves and the situations that cause pain and cry out to the Lord for healing? Are we willing to identify the mess of emotions and thoughts chasing themselves around our heads? To work out the sneaky lies that have imprinted themselves on our hearts and listen and believe Jesus’ truth instead? Honestly, for a while I wasn’t. I just wanted things to be miraculously better. To wake up one morning and BE HEALED! But my Healer had something so much better for me. He led me down a longer, more painful path to healing that taught me better how to listen to His voice. How to hear and believe His truth. And how to bask in His presence in the midst of suffering.
That’s not to say that I’ve arrived; no, the pain of this life is not easy to deal with by any means. I still have a lot more to work through, and many more steps to take toward healing. But I’m so thankful for the confidence that Jesus is walking right beside me all the way. And I know that He has promised to bring beauty from ashes.
I would greatly appreciate your prayers for me, and also your sensitivity in your comments and questions as I continue to heal. I pray for the Lord blessing and healing for each of you too. I know each of us needs it in different ways!