The Drawing In

-


Bright eyes, shouting voices, and eager arms welcome me each day I go to the school. Peace and Edith are the most demonstrative with their affection. They know me well since they are 2 of the orphans living at Katherine’s place, and I get to see them all the time. They have lost all trace of pretense and eagerly, boldly demand for my love and attention. They of course receive it in abundance! 

But there are also those that stand back. They come to watch me, and look on as those bolder ones clamor for my attention. But I see their eyes. I know that look of longing. I know how much they too desire to be hugged, cuddled, tickled, told stories, and asked silly questions. Daphine is one of them. Her eyes captured me today with their longing, and I knew I had to draw this one in. Escaping the other small arms pulling and tugging at every appendage, I drew her aside, bent down and engaged her with questions.

What is your name? 
         My name is Daphine.
How many years do you have?
         I have 9 years.
What class are you in?
         P1.

They’re simple questions, but as I show interest in her, slowly her chin lifts. She’s willing to make eye contact with me, and her voice grows strong.  Soon, she’s coming willingly when I call her over for a hug. When I poke her tummy and tease her during lunch, she smiles and giggles. It really is amazing how quickly these children respond to love. 

I see myself so much in these children. There are days when I’m just like Daphine with Jesus. Timid, and fearing to come to Him in prayer. Because sometimes I’m scared: afraid that He won’t want me, that I’m not good enough to capture His attention. That my constant sin has made me less desirable than those other giants of the faith, and I fear His disapproval. 

But my Jesus never fails to draw me in. Daily, He pulls me aside to reassure me of His compassion and acceptance. Though I see that my heart clothes are dirty, and my hair is unwashed, still He brings me close. He pays no mind to the filth under my finger nails, but tenderly grasps my hand. He offers what my heart cries day and night for: unconditional, never failing love. And I get daily to see the truth that John proclaims: ‘We love Him, because He first loved us.’ 1Jn 4:19

 It is because of this love that I can ‘come boldly before the throne of grace with confidence.’ Heb 4:16 Without timidity or fear, for His perfect love has ‘cast out all fear.’ 1Jn 4:18

So being confident in my Lord’s affection, I can rush eagerly into His arms each day. Like Peace and Edith, I can cling joyously to Him, being certain that He wants to hold me too.  

Comments

  1. Linnea WheelerFebruary 15, 2013 at 12:56 PM

    His love is beautiful. And He's shining it in and through you! Thankful.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 21, 2013 at 12:31 AM

    Dearest Melody Melanie,
    Your writings always inspire me - probably because they come straight from the heart. I have had the privilege of having another Melody on this year's Bible Quiz team, who is also a writer at heart and who has touched me many, many times this past year. Since she shares the same name as you, I am reminded of you pretty much on a daily basis right now. :)
    May God keep you sensitive to His leading, His Spirit working through you, and to the people He chose you to serve.
    I love you. God bless you.
    In Christ's Loving Service,
    Oma Ingrid Atkins

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MelanieMarch 1, 2013 at 9:05 AM

      Thank you so much, Mrs. Atkins, for your encouragement! I love you too!

      Delete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Our Daily Posho

-
Image
Anybody remember your elementary school cafeteria? I don't....I didn't have one since I was home schooled, but that's besides the point. I certainly got to HEAR about all my friend's school cafeteria experiences (you know, the whole "I'll eat your brown stuff if you'll eat my green stuff"), but I thought I'd show you the school cafeteria at Covenant Primary school here in Mbale..... Here, everyone just eats their brown stuff. otherwise known as ebijanjalo, or to you muzungus, beans. and posho. Posho or rice with beans is definitely one of the most common meals here in Uganda, and they eat plenty of it! I seriously marvel at how much one Ugandan can fit in their flat stomach. When I was growing up, the most common concern I heard expressed about being a missionary was what you would have to eat. Pictures of bugs, slimy slugs, and floating chicken heads danced through my mind, and I asked myself, "Would I be willing?" I said yes....but sin
Read more

Washing Clothes

-
Image
Today I bring you a two in one! Many have been asking me how we really wash clothes over here, so I thought I'd give you a taste.....plus give you a bonus track of some of the language I've learned and practiced with my language helper!! Bwenti bwenjoza engoye zange: This is how I wash my clothes Njua amaazi mubafu: I fill a basin with water Nteka engoye zange mu maazi: I put my clothes in the water Nsiiga saboni ku lugoye: I put soap on the clothes Wemala nga nkunya engoye: I then scrub the clothes Nteka amaazi amayonjo nenyanika engoye zange: I use fresh water to rinse, then spread my clothes to dry Bwentio bwenjoza engoye zange! That is how I wash my clothes! While it is me speaking, the pictures are quite obviously NOT me washing ;) For some reason, I found washing and photographing simultaneously to be hazardous to the health of my camera!
Read more

I've Persevered!

-
Image
In my 6 1/2 years living in Africa, I’ve seen some really hard times. But this year has been different. A steady stream of one emergency, trial, and conflict after another has kept my spirit weary. Each one has not held the intensity or trauma that I’ve experienced in past years, but it’s been the never-ending tension that’s so hard. With at most a couple days of calm between each new struggle, the weariness of body, mind, and spirit has been overwhelming at times. From confronting malicious lies about me among the teachers, to grieving over the consequences of sin in some co-workers. From having to be the vet for my kittens (including learning how to put in a sub-cut IV, give injections, and do post-op care), and burying the ones that died in my arms, to cleaning out the fridge that either switches off, spoiling all the food, or freezes all the fresh fruit and veggies. From dealing with sullen teenagers in class, to battling the spiritual warfare that imprisons many of my teac
Read more